Thanks to the Crown & Cushion

It was a good meeting of the Holts and the Merrow-Smiths in Chipping Norton on the last day of February, where we supped Old Hookey and Joined in the locals to choose their own food from the carvery of beef, pork and Turkey.
We all had fun and a laugh and silently remembered the absent Margaret. Hugh

Lunch booked 12:30

Belated Birthday Wishes Uncle Ju

We had a evening out in Oxford for you in a manner which think you'd approve. Clive, Will and I went to see 'The Last Station' at the Phoenix Cinema in Jericho. It shows the more left field films that the the Odeon won't touch. Anyway film was very good and Helen Mirren is amazing as the Countess Tolstoy though don't think I am inspired enough to pick up 'War and Peace'. There was someone at the back of the cinema having a good sob though. We've done very well on the movies lately as we have joined the cinema as members so recent viewings have been - 'An Education', 'A Single Man' (lots of older ladies in the cinema cooing over Mr Firth, though I confess it got me crying), and 'Up in the Air'. Next week's film could be 'Micmacs' though I might have to insist on 'Alice in Wonderland'. But in 3-D?

Dad - are we all fixed for Sunday lunch in Chippy?

love Gem xx

Happy birthday Julian

Nearly missed it!

Hope you have been having a nice restful day enjoying a glass of local produce. Happy birthday Julian. It was nice to see you over the last week, so hopefully we can do it again soon under happier circumstances.

Love to Ruth

Pete and Jan

Dad and Julian

I've just written birthday greeting, and chat to you both but sent it to the Llanddewi brefi bookclub blog, Doh! to tired to know what to do about it now. Lots and lots of love to you both. Cathy

From Uncle Peter

My dear Hugh
Your news of Margaret is a 'bolt from the blue' . We had a break down in our broadband service and with some problems with Hilda's pelvis treatment, hence I missed your eMail . What a tremendous tragedy for you all and sadness for us. We have read Peter's dedication with great interest and wholeheartedly endores all he says. We so much regret that over recent years that we have missed so many family gatherings . Sickness and the inability to travel far has blighted our contacts with all the family except for Clare and family who make at least two visits a month. Since Tina died, my weekly phone contact which kept me up to date with family news, we have become more isolated. I have read all your families eMails and have been moved by their memories of my dear sister.
Once more my apologies for such a late reponse Our love, prayers and thoughts are with you all
Peter and Hilda

A brief respite from the rain

A sunny morning, not sure it will last, the forecast is not good.

I have been swamped with emails expressing condolences and sympathy for our family and especially you dad. BTW Your Skype is off (which may be deliberate) but sign in again later and we can have a chat tonight.

lots of love, julian

also safe and sound

Julian and I are also home safe and sound. Cats on laps. A burgundy from the motorway service station open. We have skyped dad and now bed is beckoning after a thirteen hour drive. All that remains to do, and that may take some time, is to digest these extraordinary few days, mourning a great loss in Margaret but also celebrating the love you all feel as a family; that which is carried forward, and those things that will always live on. You are all so full of courage and humour and strength and also, thank god, capable of a big hug, honesty about how you feel and, most importantly perhaps at this sad time, a good wail. I personally feel sad Margaret will never know her last grandchild from Africa, but at least she knew that it would arrive, and that Julian would be a father (and how!!!)soon. I am pretty sure that made Margaret happy when she was here with us at Christmas.
Much love to you all and thanks for making the days so close and warm,
Ruthxxx

Bekonscot

Amy and I went over to Bekonscot yesterday to become a giant for a couple of hours. What an amazing snapshot of postwar Britain. Morris men, markets, cattle markets, bodgers pactories, cider making, brewing, coal mining and so much more. Thanks to some of the exhibits Amy got a history lesson, like how the men had to walk the barges through the tunnels where the tow path took the horse overground while the barges went straight through the hillside...And then, once we came out, we found a poorly Magpie in the road and set off on a mercy mission to St Tiggywinkles with the aforesaid bird in a Tesco 'bag for life'. All is well, we assume. Broken ankle, I think.

Take a look at this Bekonscot link Daniel!

Home safe and sound

and in record time.....depart Charlton 7.30a.m. arrive Llanddewi brefi 11.40 a.m. Coffee and toast and off to the village church for Aza Pinney's memorial. 'a vindication of the early start' quoth he...by gum but it was a bit painful say I.
I hope Nic got off O.k. it ment so much to be together like that. All my love Cathy

TO STEVE - MY ELDEST SON

You talk about me as the tower of strength, whereas it is you, my beloved eldest son, on whom we all lean.
Your strength and courage, your planning and love, from arranging the wake at the Talkhouse, to thinking of hiring a coach to take us all back home and providing us with the massive joint of local beef, cooked beautifully by my recently discovered chef-daughter, Cathy, to give us all sustenance after a very long trying day. Wonderful, marvellous. My rock- Steve. From a loving DAD

Steve's appreciation and thanks

I just want to say a few words on behalf of Dad - and the
 family.

This is a time of very mixed emotions- feelings of extreme sadness, tinged with the pleasure of seeing each other again.
On the one hand, no-one wants to be here for the reason that
 brings us together.
 On the other, we know this is exactly what Mother would have wanted -
 her family and friends all enjoying good food and drink in her memory
.
I don't think it is necessary to try and tell you what she meant to us all Some of the things that have happened this week say it all, and so 
 much about Margaret

When it became clear last week how desperately poorly Mum was
 the family gathered around her.
 There were tears, and laughter and even singing.
Mum was a tough one despite her diminutive size. She fought back from her illness last year to celebrate her 80th 
birthday at 30 thousand feet on a British Airways Jumbo and onwards
 to the tropical island of Mauritius where
 she saw her first grandchild wed
 and she saw all her ten grandchildren afterwards in the UK together 
at the Fleece.

Christmas was spent in her beloved Provence with Julian and Ruth
 and still full of her faith and courage - she didn't want us to see her as she was and 
fought to the bitter end, but finally went peacefully. 
It honestly couldn't have been better for her or us.

A measure of the esteem in which she was held is the number of you who have come from far and wide to be here today.
 On behalf of Dad
, Cathy, Julian, Nic and Peter 
and all of us, thank you so much for your support
 and kind wishes - and we know MUM would also thoroughly approve of 
the donations to alzheimers.

She fought the symptoms of memory loss as best she could and would 
 fill her diary with tiny reminders
 and would declare Gordon Brown to be prime minister on queue, 
 although what day it was,
 was more of a struggle
.
I want to say some other thank you's.

First, to Dad. He has put up with a lot these last few weeks - more 
 than perhaps even the rest of us know
 and for the last few days he has been the usual tower of strength 
for us all and held us together by his example.

Second, to Peter for taking care of the arrangements
, to Cathy and Nic for dropping everything to be here
 and Julian for being Julian.
They have all been outstanding.

This week has been a terrible experience of life for all, and Mum 
would have been proud us- thanks.

Third, a special thank you to Mum's many carers and helpers, Nurses and ex-nurses who by regularly popping in helped both Mum and 
Dad cope and get back on their feet after Dad's fall

Last to Molly Morgan as I lately found out was her nickname as a lass. 
 A wonderful wife, mother, mother-in-law, grandmother, sister, aunt 
and friend. Let us toast a wonderful person -
thank you
 Margaret.
Your loving son, Steve

Pete's tribute from yesterday's service...

…..It is no surprise to me that so many would want to give of their time to pay their last respects to Mum, for she too had always given up her time for others. In truth, Mum was the very embodiment of the servant spirit - a generous and loving person for whom no journey was too far, no time was too long and no gift was too precious to give in order to make others feel loved, appreciated and special.

Mum’s Christian spirit was tangible to all she met. I count myself extremely blessed to have been raised by someone who so exemplified the fruits of the spirit to which St Paul refers in his letter to the Galations; love - joy - peace - patience - kindness - goodness - gentleness - and self-control.

Mum was a faithful and prayerful person, contrite of heart and with a forgiving spirit. Clearly the Lord knew she would need these qualities to raise her five children, for with us around, circumstances constantly arose that tested her ability to intercede on our behalves.

Though humble in nature, Mum herself was supremely talented. She had great artistic flare, and was both creative and resourceful. She learned to make clothes with great skill, to cook wonderful food (often on a shoestring), to paint and decorate a home, and to manage a garden full of flowers and produce for the table. She was an accomplished painter, though she never claimed this of herself. Even so, this must have rubbed off on some of us.

I will always remember Mum as being a beautiful woman in her own right, always elegant. I think one of the things that made her so special was that she paid great attention to detail. Little things meant a great deal to her (like never putting jam pots on the tablecloth) - and she had a wonderful ability to identify little things that meant a great deal to other people too. Mum could always find just the right present for just the right occasion.

Mum spent over 56 years being a devoted wife and a great pal to our dad Hugh. Although dad was the outgoing one of the couple, mum was always quietly steadfast and supportive in all he did. Whilst her focus was more perhaps on her family in the early years, many of you will know that she could be great fun to be with. Mum was always game to give things a go, be it riding pinion on dad’s motorbike when they were courting, dressing up in fancy dress to dance the night away with the Operatic Society, or jetting off to far flung places to meet up with family.

In fact mum would travel anywhere and everywhere to see family - Singapore, Botswana, France, Portugal, Spain….even Wales and the Isle of Wight. She especially loved to see her ten grandchildren and kept a special photo album dedicated to just pictures of each of you as babies and as young children.

Mum was a very special person…a sort of family glue. As a hostess, it was as if she could never do enough for anyone. Christmases became such a special time of the year as the family grew - hard work, but memorable... - but so long as everyone else was having fun, Mum was having fun too.

Mum made everyone welcome - and was welcome anywhere. She made everyone feel loved - and was loved by everyone. Mum’s heart ached with a longing to have her family round her - and in a similar way our hearts now ache with longing to see her once again - for Mum will be sorely missed by us all.

Getting Back

Cheney Coaches 40 seater has been booked to provide transport back to Kings Sutton after the do at the The Talkhouse leaving about 2:30


Cheney Coaches
Thorpe Mead, Banbury, OX16 4RZ
Telephone: 01295 254254
Private/Charter Hire * Excursions * Tours in UK & Europe * Airport & Ferry Transport * Schools & Works * Local Bus Services - An ISO 9002 Accredited company, pride is taken in the quality, service and value offered and the full range of services available. Executive, Luxury and Standard Coaches are supplied with a range of comfort facilities including washrooms, video, air-conditioning etc.. All coaches are fitted with seat-belts and onboard telephones.

Arrangements

Details are as follows:-
Funeral Service at 09:45 on Thursday 18th February
St Joseph's Roman Catholic Church
Brook Lane
Thame
Oxon
OX9 2AB

followed by cremation at 11:15 on the same day
at:-
Oxford Crematorium
Bayswater Road
Headington
Oxford
Oxfordshire
OX3 9RZ

Catering arrangements after for all family and friends, from noon at
The Talkhouse
Wheatley Rd
Stanton St. John
Oxford
Oxfordshire
OX33 1EX



Thanks to everyone for lovely thoughts and kind words. Hugh

Donations and flowers

Just to let you know that dad has asked no flowers to be sent. He and mum always felt that the Alzheimer's Society was a charity everyone should support and so he has asked that donations should be directed to this charity if anyone feels they would like to give at this time.

Pete

Thursday

Wake: Buffet Venue

I watch the sunrise lighting the sky,
Casting its shadows near.
And on this morning bright though it be,
I feel those shadows near me.

But you are always close to me
Following all my ways.
May I be always close to you
Following all your ways, Lord.

I watch the sunlight shine through the clouds,
Warming the earth below.
And at the mid-day, life seems to say:
"I feel your brightness near me."
For you are always . . .

I watch the sunset fading away,
Lighting the clouds with sleep.
And as the evening closes its eyes,
I feel your presence near me.
For you are always . . .

I watch the moonlight guarding the night,
Waiting till morning comes.
The air is silent, earth is at rest
Only your peace is near me.
Yes, you are always…

Thanks

to Pete for hotfooting Mum's friends around Chinnor and for seeing Undertaker Robert and Priest.
Steve for his strength and support
Cathy for providing victuals and support
Julian and Ruth for their Skype and promise to drive up here next week
Nic for arranging a flight from Singapore.
We were and I now am so proud of you all for looking after your loving Mum.
I would like to take this opportunity to do what Mum wanted me to do and that is to make you all a little more comfortable, with a choice of nic-nacs. Hope you will benefit from the new Tyres, Cath. They are so important on those Welsh roads.
I have other thoughts in mind so think on, but remember the Prodigal son! You are all so important to me. love from Dad.

Found this nice family group picture today...which just goes to show that more than one Merrow can make a funny face at the click of the shutter...

My Dear Aunty Margaret

I am so so sorry to hear of dear Aunty Margaret's passing, my thoughts are with you, Uncle Hugh, and to Steve, Cathy, Julian, Nick and Peter and your family's at such a terribly sad time for you all.

Aunty Margaret was such a lovely aunty to have ,very caring, loving and a beautiful person, her gracefulness and her smile. she will be sadly missed by us all.

We were so pleased to see her at mum and dads 50th in october, it meant so much to us that she was able to make it.

you are all in my thoughts

love Teresa

Auntie Margaret

Dearest all.

I am sadden to hear the loss of my Auntie and Godmother Margaret, Teresa and my thoughts and prayers are with you Uncle Hugh and all of the Merrow-Smith cousins and their families.

What a lovely lady Margaret was, never missed sending me a birthday card, fun when in her company, kind, caring and loved the family.

It was a joy last October when Auntie Margaret and Uncle Hugh came to mum and dad 50Th anniversary a memory to treasure.

God bless you all.

Ed & Tee xx

Margaret Sylvia 1929-2010

Margaret Sylvia Merrow-Smith, born 11th May 1929
Mother to Stephen, Catherine, Julian, Nicholas and Peter Merrow-Smith. Mother-in-law to Barbara, John, Ruth, Jen Hui and Janet, and Grandmother to Gemma, William, Edmund, Thomas, Kate, Claire, Daniel, Jessica, Bethany and Amy Joanne Merrow-Smith and the loving wife of Patrick Hugh, for 56 years, died peacefully in the Horton Hospital at 11am on 11th February 2010, after a short but final illness.
R.I.P love to all the above from Dad, pa-in-law and Granddad Hugh

Prayers Required

I called the hospital at 17:19 and the nurse I spoke to said she was not allowed to say over the phone exactly how things are.
But she did say Mum is on a drip and on i-v antibiotics. Her blood
pressure is fine, her heart rate's up a bit and she is sleepy.
I asked her if she was my own 'sister' would she say come quick?
She said well she's not very very sick but the doctor would be able to
tell us more at the hospital.
I called Peter as I'm working in Sussex, and have spoken to Cathy, Gemma and been in touch with Julian and Will.

So I'm balancing what we fear, against where we've been before with Mum, as this time last year she had the last rites!
I saw her on Monday and she seemed her usual self but we all have seen how a disrupted routine affects Mother, which is not to make light of the current situation.
love Steve

I don't know how to start this

I left here at about 1 o'c only to find that the road out of the village past the Cherwell lorries is closed by the river bridge. It was also snow/hailing and making things difficult, between snow showers and sunshine, I joined the road to Banbury at Adderbury traffic lights and got to the Horton a little later than I had planned.
I arrived at ward "E" and went to Mum's bedside. Although it was not strictly visiting times I was able to give Mum her specatackles and handbag. She was in bed and had all the detritus of oxygen mask, drip and catheta to a bedside urine bag. She was glad to see me and wanted to know if I had an ice cream - sorry love, you have a NIL BY MOUTH notice above the bed. Did I see the little dog? No. The nurse Claire was very helpful and brought me a chair and said the doctor would like to see me when he/she was free of his/her meeting at 2 pm Did I want to go to the canteen for a cup of tea? I had an Ice Cream.
At 2 o/c, I met Dr Kerry something (a lady doc) and we went to a little room down the corridor. Did I want to ask any questions Is she in danger? well, she is very frail, and not strong enough to stand an exploratory op to see what was going on. Did you get the required amount of fluid = no, we couldn't get enough for our needs. Just then she left the room and came back with David, a surgeon. Did I want to ask him any questions? Can I be frank, says I. Yes, do not be afraid. Has she got cancer - no, I didn't find any sign from the CT scan. Is she in any danger? Well, if she does not improve in the next day or two < we would not be able to do very much for her- she is very frail. How long has she been likes this he says - she has been very sleepy, and not eating much I said. She does not show much interest in what is going on and she goes off to bed at 8.30-ish, We go out together and sometimes to a meal, but not very often, I do all the cooking and we have Carers to wash and dress and undress her. We have a lady who does the cleaning and ironing, and someone to look after the garden, so we are not over taxed. Sorry to be the bearer of such bad news
I came home via the back road and found myself making plans.........Dad

13:25 update

Mum had been scheduled for an Ultra-Sound Guided Drainage, which if you google would have indicated an intra abdominal abscess, however there was no significant quality of fluid found so they have done nothing.
I quizzed the staff about possible causes but nothing was forth coming.

Dad was at the bedside so I was put through to him, and he complains that he cannot hear Mum because she has an oxygen mask on.
I told him what the nurse said to me and proposed that the ol'girl was probably completely bunged up.
I suspect that out of the choice of rabbit sh'dung and mopping up, the former is the preferred option in some quarters.
Dad's cancelled Mum's helpers until Friday but reckons he has plenty of food in he says, otherwise it's down the fish and chip shop I said! LOL

Contactable!!

The phone number Rhoserchan is 01970 820575, my mobile is 07817 643807, It gets a bit busy between 12.00 and 1.30 and 5.00 and 6.00. There are two Cathys obviously I am the 'Cathy in the Kitchen' Much love to all Cathy

10:20 update

The Horton
Ward E
zero1295229204

Mum's had a wash and waiting for the doctors to come back.

A thank you update,

To dear Pete and Jan who unstintingly gave their time to visit Mum on a cold February evening; To Steve who spoke to the hospital from Sussex and kept me informed; to Cathy who spent some time in a busy day to pass on her love to Mum, and to Julian in France and Nic in Singapore, who spoke to us by the magic of Skype to send their love.

Julian had also passed over to us copies of his POSTCARD FROM PROVENCE book, copies of the cover, forewords and acknowledgements of writers, correspondents and best of all, beautiful memories of Julian, by Gary Humphris, both at college in Banbury and during his foundation stay in Provence where they only lived a couple of miles apart. What it is to have friends like Gary, who is a popular author in his own right and now lives, with wife Sylvie ad son Max in glorious California. Thanks, mate. I will always remember our friendship which I treasure. and thanks for your support for Julian in his early days in Provence.
Love to all the above from a grateful Hugh (Dad)

Further update...

As mum is in overnight at least so I took a wash bag over to the hospital before setting off for home and managed to speak to one of the night doctors while I was there. She told me mum is on precautionary antibiotics which is standard for such a case even though she doesn't have a temperature, and pain killers, plus she is on a drip to keep her fluids up and has an oxygen mask available which the nursing staff use intermittently. You'll recall that mum doesn't breathe very strongly when she is tired, weak and feint. Her blood oxygen content is a bit low even though the heart and blood pressure are fine. The doctor says the CT scan was not particularly conclusive in that it showed some abdominal fluid and a dilated bowel, indicating a blockage, but without locating anything obvious. They will continue to investigate tomorrow - another scan probably - and more likely than not will go forward conservatively, using suppositories, laxatives and the like. Ultimately it is the day team who will decide what the next course of action is to be and the doctor suggested they would not be making decisions until after the morning rounds between 8am and 10am. I said I would phone at break time tomorrow to get an update.

Nice speaking to you on Skype Julian. Gary's forward is great and the whole thing looks beautiful so far. Well done all for phoning in and keeping dad company. He seems alright and needs a good night's sleep. As for mum, she is stable and being looked after and was sleeping when I left an hour ago or so. Not very comfortable of course, but she was able to make a few weak answers and was clearly relieved that Jan and I were able to drop by earlier and make contact.

I'll phone someone tomorrow and get them to post the news on the blog as I cannot get access for posting to it across the school's firewall.

Night all

Pete

Peter's on Banbury duty..

going off to see Mum who has suspected (faecal) compaction (ie constipation) and is in A&E at the Horton 01295 229412 awaiting blood tests.

She is conscious and stable Peter says!

MUM IS IN HOSPITAL

I have just returned from the Horton where Mum was awaiting an X-Ray. I felt that she was in good hands so I came away in case anyone called on the phone. In fact, Pete did, soon after I got home.
She had a severe stomach pain last night and went to bed early, so I left her to sleep it off, hoping that whatever was causing the pain would come out in the ?wash.
Our Polish Carer came as usual and she felt that I should dial 999, but knowing how cold it was, I decided to call the emergency Medic. instead and he came along about midnight and gave her some pain tablets to see if she could get some sleep. We had a fitful night and got up four or five times with no luck, Next morning I phoned our own Surgery and a lady Dr. turned up about noon. Before she arrived I asked Mum, who was sitting in her comfy chair, if she would rather be in bed when our doctor arrived. She said she would so I helped her out of the chair, but this was a mistake as she fainted and almost collapsed on the floor, but I managed to get her to collapse on the settee, where she was when our doc arrived. Doc said she ought to be in bed so we struggled along carrying Mum between us but she fell on the floor and it took us some effort to get her onto the bed. She rang the hospital for some transport and the ambulance arrived at 2-ish. I left Mum about 4.30 and came home as there was not much I could do at the A&E, So there you have it, I'll ring up later to see where they were going to put her and I took some clothes with me in case she was there overnight. The hospital tel no is 01295 275500,if you are interested.
. Must get some sleep - ta ta Love from Dad.

Jeff Beck How High the Moon

Happy Birthday William..
30 today Many Happy Returns.

Singapore time GMT + 8hrs

Happy birthday to our dear Jen Hui Wth love from Hugh and Margaret. Have a good day!

3rd February

Very many Happy Returns of today, Will Love from G&G

World's Tallest Building

Check our Rachel on Facebook.. they've been karting in Dubai!
World's Tallest Building Dubai
Her Dad's old firm still doing rebuilds on Hispano-Suiza engines.. http://www.fjpayne.com/index.htm