Father's Day

Today was Father's Day. We were in church this morning and Jan gave a testimony about how her own father had been such an influence on her and how thankful she is for him making such a wonderful contribution to her life. She also had a few kind words to say about me and how we, together, bring up the girls and this left people reaching for their hankies. It was an emotional day and it has set me thinking about my own Dad and how special he is.

Firstly, to put the record straight, I only have three kids whereas, for anyone who wasn't aware, my Dad has five. Therefore, all the problems I have come up against can be multiplied by an exponential amount in Dad's case.

Sibling rivalry is an interesting topic and one we five Merrow-Smith children have discussed on a number of occassions. One's own perpective is clouded because we are all human and therefore selfish of our father's attention. Jess was putting it in perspective earlier. Though she gets a third of my time (on a calculator), in her view she is never satisfied because the her sisters get the other larger 'two thirds'. Jan also gets a look in too. So all in all, what with me having my own time, she may see a fifth of my attention being spent on her, if that. Then I have a job, the new house takes up our time and energy and...what more can one say? It takes a level of maturity (which comes with age I guess) to even conceptualise the scope of the problem. With you Dad, running two jobs and having a wife and five kids, a garden the size of a small football pitch and so on, I guess there was never enough time in the day to satisfy all the wants of your hungry chicks. I never have thanked you for the time you gave each one of us...for giving up your own interests like football and cricket to follow ours. You have always been a dedicated and loving Dad and you have given me so much I cannot express it in words.

I remember pretty much the whole family going to see Julian at Aylesbury United, I think it was (excuse me if I get the facts a little wrong as I was young at the time), playing at left back in that final for Chinnor Boys with Melvyn Crooke, Rob Perry and so on. I remember going to see Steve playing hockey at the playing fields and of course, once he was in the army, travelling all over the country to see the band playing - that used to make your chest swell, I know Dad, and its something that made me proud too. We don't know many people who have played in a Wembley cup final, do we? I know you travelled to Cathy's exhibition in Liverpool Blue Coats and no doubt all the others have their own memories of all the things you supported them in. I reckon if we strung all those events together they'd make a good many years.

I remember you coming to see me play rugby for Chinnor when we played and won the colts final over at Oxford Old Boys ground. I remember you pitching up in Mold or Rhyll, was it, to see me run in five tries and then get winded by landing on the ball. Then you downed everything and motored up to college when I was hurt in that hit and run. You were always there for us in times of trouble, times of fun and times of personal development. I remember playing cricket with you too for Henton and you turning out for the Dads and scoring a great goal on Hill Top Rec against my Chinnor boys football team. What a great Dad. How on earth did you ever find time for yourself? No wonder you used to get upset when Pete or Danny Moore usede to ask you, 'Mr Merrow-Smith, what are you tryin' to do?'! Now, after all these years I get it...but it takes a lifetime of experience for it all to really sink in.

Thanks for all the wonderful holidays we had, often on a shoestring. Yeah, so we didn't get pocket money and we didn't always get a new bike but we always did get what we wanted and that was your unconditional love. You did a great job when we were kids and you've done a great job ever since. I'm glad we've all been able to all give you some places to roam too in which to find some small adventure. I know that if I was in need tomorrow you'd be on the first plane out here because that's the kind of Dad you are. And in church this morning I heard tales of fathers who were never there for their children or who beat their kids. Some people's lives have been filled with a false perspective of what a Dad really should be, so I want to thank you for showing us all a unique and wonderful way to do one of the most difficult yet natural jobs in the world.

Well Dad, thanks for the positive legacy that you have left in me. I'm trying hard to pass it on to the girls (and to iron out a few bits that I think need my personal input!) I'm still sorry about the drum episode but hopefully by now you can forgive us all, and if it happened again tomorrow maybe you wouldn't be so angry! I'd still expect a clip round the ear if you caught me trying to nibble through the TV electrical flex like Fluff. I think it was about ten years later that I learnt that lesson about electric shock and you were there for that one too! Do you remember that old yellow metal anglepoise lamp? I can still taste the metal in my mouth! But I could go on all night with memories like this, so I'd better leave it at that and go and read your diary to pull up some more nostalgic episodes!

So just to say, I love you. We love you.

Happy Father's Day

Peter